Dignity is for republicans.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
