I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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