That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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