I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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