I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
