while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Someone signed my nipple.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
