He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize