I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
