I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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