Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
