I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Drunk is not a location!
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