but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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