I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
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He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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