just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
