dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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