tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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