I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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