Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
