I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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