Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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