when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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