Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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