i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
