There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
