best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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