All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
