why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
