You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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