I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
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trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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