And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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