I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
