she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
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Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
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I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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