I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
