We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
