so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
