My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize