i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
