i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
