I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
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Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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