i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
