i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
