I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize