you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
