I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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