Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it because I queefed?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
