I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
