Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
