No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
