im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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