i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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