Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Someone signed my nipple.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
