Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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