is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
