i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
