Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I died a long time ago.

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(618): View more from Illinois

how was the sex?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

(618): View more from Illinois

well, there's that.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

you're right.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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