just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dating After Heartbreak
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Iâ€™m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so sheâ€™s my new hero
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...