I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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