He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...