Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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