you would pick up someone in the library
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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