Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

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(925): View more from California

I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

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(971): View more from Oregon

I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990

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